SELF ESTEEM

Self-esteem has become the single most important consideration in child-rearing and education. But the self esteem movement is suffering a backlash as it comes under critical scrutiny from experts. It seems the notion that a kid full of self esteem will be popular and high achieving in school and in life is not well supported by clinical practice. Nor, for that matter, does it ring true many experienced teachers and parents. Previous generations of parents were more interested in teaching their kids character, which included components of hard work, morality, honesty, charity, and spiritually. The cultivation of self-esteem in a child who didn’t posses such traits would have seemed a seriously misguided effort.

The most reliable path to self-esteem is for a kid to attempt a goal they believe is too hard, to work toward it, and, finally, either to accomplish it or to feel that a good try was made. Moreover, kids aren’t fooled by indiscriminate praise. Unaware of child’s goals, we may praise the wrong thing. It is not nearly as useful to a child as the truth. Failure provides the needed contrast that makes success all the sweeter when it happens. It is not necessarily a bad thing. When we muffle our children in a haze of supportive words and blunt their experiences of consequences, we could be making it harder for them to deal with the real world.